Written by Audie
The Pats + The Eagles = SUPERBIG ADVERTISING
Beantown vs. Philly: Epic Beef of the Northeast
The Patriots are playing the Eagles in Super Bowl 52 in Minnesota this fantastic year of 2018! Former underdog versus current underdog. This game smacks of the excitement reminiscent of the time when players were known by both their names like Donovan McNabb, Peyton Manning, and Allen Iverson (yes, Iverson played basketball - but he's a memory bliss tool). Now names like Brady, Gronk and O'Dell are chanted by little boys and their moms in speeding SUVs. Not only is this an epic northeastern “Battle Royale” between the City of Brotherly Love and Beantown, those who tune in will witness the most hilarious, intelligent and expensive commercials made by mankind to date. Each year, viewers are blown away by the witty little skits that have were born from selling soap to housewives. These divine comedies or advertising slots, have come to be a barometer of human progression, a testament of the collective consciousness of fans and unattached tuners and hopefully, the rest of the beautiful mean world. All grandeur aside, viewers expect, at the very least, to painfully laugh; NBC expects quadruple dollar signs, and advertisers, who dare, expect to deliver their best play on social norms while peddling their ware or trade to the finish line, with the expectation that, at the very least, someone will say on the next day "Hey, how about that [enter brand name] Super Bowl commercial..." or, perhaps their wildest dream will be granted by the NFL gods and people all over the world will utter their version of "WAAAAASSSUUUUUUUPPPPP" and mention them for decades like the viewers who have repeated this friendly guttural greeting to their children and their children's children, with the hopes that they too will dutifully pass on such noble croak in honor of their wise ancestors. Or more “Dilly Dilly”.
NFL's Advertising Play: The Speed of Light is Still Faster, For Now
NBC expects to charge at least $5MIL for a 30-second ad slot (up $500,000 from 2017). Before we go down and compute what that means in terms of seconds, let us put our shades on and gaze upon the "soo hot that its freezing" price tag of a 1-minute skit: TTTEN. MMMMILLION. DDDOLLARS. As if visualizing that species of wealth being generated in this lifetime in this observable universe was enough, knowing for certain that such a Big Bang will happen this Sunday in exotic Minnesota should turn you into an existentialist. After you ponder the meaning of your life and before you quit your job, let's bring it back to the nano-units that the rest of us nano-humans can understand: seconds and pennies. $10MIL per minute is $166,666 per second, which is, boys and girls, 16.666MIL pennies. Imagine that piggy bank luau. Luckily, the voracious money making, eating and fertilizing metabolism of the [deleted] is still No. 2 in terms of speed to something in this dimension -- the speed of light -- which travels at a rate of 186,000 miles per second. The Super Bowl's ability to make a buck in TV Advertising is only 20,000 seconds slower than the speed at which light travels. The sound "Uh" generates $166k in revenue. Veering off to find a black hole to crawl into, of the 3 or 4 hours spent watching the game, only 11 minutes are real game playing minutes. 11 real minutes. We have to call NASA as "One NASA minute" is going to be changed to "One NFL minute."
Who are the companies spending big bucks for Super Bowl ads?
So, who are these insanely rich and fearless entities, spending at least $166,666 per second on a marketing skit with no written warranty of ROI? Here's the details of businesses who purchased Super Bowl commercials and their investment in seconds. We’ve also included when during the game the ads will air and what they’re about for your complete Guide to Super Bowl 52 Commericals!
Amazon Alexa – 90 second spot in 4th quarter featuring Jeff Bezos. Alexa loses her voice with celebrity cameos include Cardi B and Gordon Ramsay.
- Amazon Prime - 60 second spot after halftime to promote “Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan”
- Annheuser-Bush will have several commercials:
- 30 seconds for Stella, first Super Bowl ad since 2011.
- 90 seconds for Bud Light: more “Dilly Dilly”, and the new “Bud Night”
- 30 seconds spots for Michelob Ultra and Budweiser
- Avocados from Mexico – 30 second spot will be 4th Super Bowl appearance.
- Coco-Cola – 12th Super Bowl appearance will be “celebrating diversity”.
- Diet Coke – 30 seconds in 2nd quarter introducing overhauled logo.
- Doritos – Peter Dinklage will promote Doritos Blaze.
- E-Trade - 30 seconds in 2nd quarter “Don’t Get Mad Get Even”
- Febreeze – 30 seconds in 2nd quarter “Dave, a man whose bleep don’t stink”
- Groupon – 30 seconds between 3rd & 4th quarters, first SB ad since 2011.
- Hulu – Back for its 2nd consecutive year and third overall.
- Hyundai – 60 seconds in the 4th quarter “Better Drives Us” theme.
- Intuit – 15 seconds for its first Super Bowl ad will introduce two new characters.
- Kia – 60 seconds in the 3rd will be 9 years running now.
- Kraft – 30 second spot in 3rd quarter will feature real families and actual Super Bowl moments from social media.
- Lexus – 30 seconds in the 3rd featuring the LS 500 F Sport sedan and will include a tie in from the new Black Panther movie.
- M&M – 30 seconds in the 1st quarter featuring Danny DeVito.
- Monster Products – Iggy Azalea will promote new wireless AirLinks Elements.
- Mountain Dew – 30 second ad that pairs with the Doritos ad.
- NFL – 60 Second ad featuring Eli Manning.
- Paramount – Ad to promote new Mission: Impossible movie.
- Pepsi – 30 Second ad featuring the iconic Cindy Crawford.
- Persil Pro Clean – will feature its third Super Bowl ad for its laundry detergent.
- Pringles – 30 seconds in the 3rd quarter will be its first SB ad.
- Quicken Loans – 60 seconds in the 2nd quarter.
- Sprint – will feature “Evelyn” the robot
- Squarespace – 30 seconds for its 5th SB ad will feature Keanu Reeves
- Tide – Terry Bradshaw will be featured in this ad.
- T-Mobile – 60 second ad featuring Kerry Washington.
- Toyota – 3 60 seconds spots. 1st quarter, halftime, and 2nd half ads continuing their “Start Your Impossible” campaign.
- TurboTax (Intuit) – 60 seconds for their 5th SB ad.
- Universal Parks and Resorts – 30 second spot featuring Peyton Manning.
- Verizon – back for first time since 2011, Verizon did not release details on SB ad.
- WeatherTech – 30 seconds will be its 5th consecutive year of SB ads.
- Wendy's -30 second spot in the 1st quarter will call out McDonalds for using frozen beef.
Set your DVRs and may the best of the best win!